Dear Thirties,

I dub you the decade of resilience. With your ups and downs, surprises and uncertainty, you sure taught me a lot. Thank you for teaching me to march on with grace, hold my head high, and see life through a lens of humor, no matter what the challenge.

But before we take a walk down road-bump memory lane, shall we start by recapping all the positives you brought? The list is somewhat short but highly meaningful. Most importantly, you gave me three beautiful children who are bright, talented and each bring me daily joy in their own unique ways (and so what if I only tried for two of them). Two beautiful homes, offering a place to wind down and relax with my family at the end of a long day. A career I’m passionate about, even if it’s not very stable. Fun, loving and supportive friends both new and old that enrich my life, push me to be my best and are comfortable enough with our relationship to tell me when I need a lip wax.  A continued loving relationship with my husband with whom I share daily mutual love, respect, laughter and tenderness, (even if I sometimes want to strangle him). Experiences far and wide from Norway, to Calgary, to Italy, to Mexico, the South, and multiple trips to my “homes away from home” in Tahoe, Utah, Michigan, Hawaii and New York. Hobbies like yoga, snowboarding and horseback-riding that bring me joy, adventure, test my physical limits and make me feel alive. I have been blessed in countless ways and am grateful for these opportunities but also feel a sense of accomplishment knowing I have worked dang hard for all of it.

Now for the “ah hem”, experiences that brought me character? I know, after that list above, these will probably read like first world problems. But at risk of being judged ungrateful, let’s be honest, you were the toughest decade yet and hit me and my family in the proverbial gonads on numerous occasions.  Dad’s cancer, 6 different job searches, the collapse of our financial system as we know it and of the industries in which my family were employed. The loss of two grandparents, my beloved too-young 33-year-old cousin, multiple friends and co-workers that you took by cancer, suicide and accidents. Being mauled by a dog – really, did you throw that one in just for spite? And then there were the health issues – beyond the feat of surviving the shock of carrying and delivering twins, which was enough on its own, there were 2 miscarriages before that, later two back-to-back kidney infections, a major neck injury, a cord concussion, a shoulder dislocation, a hormone imbalance, multiple health issues and hospitalizations for my children, plus Pete’s snapped patellar tendon and ruptured back disk.  After years of pain, low energy and searching for answers, you finally brought me a diagnosis and resolution on the source of my health challenges, even though it was not the one I wanted - a rare genetic condition that is systemic, progressive and incurable and likely passed on to half my children.

More recently you poured salt in the wounds with a messy legal battle, the loss of my beloved dog, a crazy political environment, betrayed friendships and the breaking apart of our near-extended kin.

It is now to my Forties that I look,  welcoming and embracing a new dawn and beginning. Though I’m not naïve enough to believe they will be completely without challenges, I am confident they will shine bright and that the worst of curveballs are behind me. It is always darkest before the dawn, and even if not, I am better prepared and positioned to deal with whatever life may bring.

Other friends of mine have reached this point before me and struggled with the transition, having not accomplished yet what they wanted to by 40. I feel proud that I am where I am, ugly warts and all. I have earned every wrinkle, fold, and even though I am exhausted, I have not been beaten and will move forward one step at a time into this new, glorious phase in life where I’m finally able to catch my breath, enjoy my family and reap what I have worked so hard for.

Now, Forties, let’s make a pact and lay off the character building crap from now on, shall we? I think we are already there.

With love and reflection,

Natalie