Dear Thirties,

I dub you the decade of resilience. With your ups and downs, surprises and uncertainty, you sure taught me a lot. Thank you for teaching me to march on with grace, hold my head high, and see life through a lens of humor, no matter what the challenge.

But before we take a walk down road-bump memory lane, shall we start by recapping all the positives you brought? The list is somewhat short but highly meaningful. Most importantly, you gave me three beautiful children who are bright, talented and each bring me daily joy in their own unique ways (and so what if I only tried for two of them). Two beautiful homes, offering a place to wind down and relax with my family at the end of a long day. A career I’m passionate about, even if it’s not very stable. Fun, loving and supportive friends both new and old that enrich my life, push me to be my best and are comfortable enough with our relationship to tell me when I need a lip wax.  A continued loving relationship with my husband with whom I share daily mutual love, respect, laughter and tenderness, (even if I sometimes want to strangle him). Experiences far and wide from Norway, to Calgary, to Italy, to Mexico, the South, and multiple trips to my “homes away from home” in Tahoe, Utah, Michigan, Hawaii and New York. Hobbies like yoga, snowboarding and horseback-riding that bring me joy, adventure, test my physical limits and make me feel alive. I have been blessed in countless ways and am grateful for these opportunities but also feel a sense of accomplishment knowing I have worked dang hard for all of it.

Now for the “ah hem”, experiences that brought me character? I know, after that list above, these will probably read like first world problems. But at risk of being judged ungrateful, let’s be honest, you were the toughest decade yet and hit me and my family in the proverbial gonads on numerous occasions.  Dad’s cancer, 6 different job searches, the collapse of our financial system as we know it and of the industries in which my family were employed. The loss of two grandparents, my beloved too-young 33-year-old cousin, multiple friends and co-workers that you took by cancer, suicide and accidents. Being mauled by a dog – really, did you throw that one in just for spite? And then there were the health issues – beyond the feat of surviving the shock of carrying and delivering twins, which was enough on its own, there were 2 miscarriages before that, later two back-to-back kidney infections, a major neck injury, a cord concussion, a shoulder dislocation, a hormone imbalance, multiple health issues and hospitalizations for my children, plus Pete’s snapped patellar tendon and ruptured back disk.  After years of pain, low energy and searching for answers, you finally brought me a diagnosis and resolution on the source of my health challenges, even though it was not the one I wanted - a rare genetic condition that is systemic, progressive and incurable and likely passed on to half my children.

More recently you poured salt in the wounds with a messy legal battle, the loss of my beloved dog, a crazy political environment, betrayed friendships and the breaking apart of our near-extended kin.

It is now to my Forties that I look,  welcoming and embracing a new dawn and beginning. Though I’m not naïve enough to believe they will be completely without challenges, I am confident they will shine bright and that the worst of curveballs are behind me. It is always darkest before the dawn, and even if not, I am better prepared and positioned to deal with whatever life may bring.

Other friends of mine have reached this point before me and struggled with the transition, having not accomplished yet what they wanted to by 40. I feel proud that I am where I am, ugly warts and all. I have earned every wrinkle, fold, and even though I am exhausted, I have not been beaten and will move forward one step at a time into this new, glorious phase in life where I’m finally able to catch my breath, enjoy my family and reap what I have worked so hard for.

Now, Forties, let’s make a pact and lay off the character building crap from now on, shall we? I think we are already there.

With love and reflection,

Natalie

A Family of Mini Psuedo-Geniuses?

I wanted to share some interesting stories about the kids because they have really been blowing my mind lately. I may be a little biased but I think we have some pseudo geniuses in the family. Colin in particular is able to articulate things much better/clearer lately so I'm floored to hear some of the things coming out of his mouth. 

Colin:

This morning and for the past couple of weeks Colin has been having a rush of memories from when he was a baby. I think he sees his brother and sister and it triggers things from when he was the same age. I didn't think it was possible to remember when you were that young but last night he described in detail an event that happened when he was 10 months old and even clarified that it happened when we lived in "our first house of all". Hmmm. Then he went on to ask if he lived in my belly when we lived in NYC. Then he asked the dreaded "how did I get in your belly?". He is often pondering and pontificating really complex ideas and thoughts that I would never imagine go through a 4-yr old child's head. 

Point in case, the other day I decided to download all the pictures from our old camera which we rarely use anymore. Unbeknownst to me, Colin had taken over 700 pictures from the last year, documenting each important event from his own perspective - at Christmas, when I was breastfeeding the babies when they were small, etc. Seriously - 700 pictures!!! Many of them were blurry or of his face but some of them were pure genius. Sadly I don't remember him snapping any of them (I guess I was a little preoccupied this past year). 

He has also been manic about creating books lately - he draws pictures and has us write the words then staples them together to create a story. He made a book about Penguins and our family this last week. When he ran out of paper, he couldn't suppress his creative genius and unfortunately took to his walls - drawing pictures of water, his scooter and family all over his room (with Crayon and pen). He did this in a 15 minute span and got in big trouble for it. But he wanted his friends to think his room was cool and he had run out of paper after all, so I couldn't be too upset. 

Ethan:

So this morning I was taking a shower, and usually the twins will play right outside for a few minutes, although lately this has been happening less and less. Well this morning I was washing my hair and looked down and there was Ethan in the shower with me - clothes on and all!! He was just crawling around and splashing saying "baff", "baff" (for bath). Mia sat outside tentatively but after a few seconds, she decided to join her brother. At this point there was nothing I could do, so they just cruised around in their PJs on the bottom of the shower and they loved it!!! Mia had brought along with her the wrist band from the Coldplay concert which somehow started blinking with pink lights once the water hit it and both babies got a huge kick out of it. 

Last night we were in the basement and both babies decided to climb the carpeted stairs. They realized quickly that the carpet made the stairs easier to maneuver. Well Ethan figured out how to crawl down as well. In a span of 5 minutes he crawled one step then down, up 2 steps then down, up 3 steps then down, up 4 steps then down. He did this until he got completely to the top on his own, testing one additional step higher each time to make sure he could still get down. It was pretty crazy. Mia could get up 4 or 5 steps but can't yet figure out how to get down. 

Mia:

Mia has been surprising us on a more emotional level. She is already very manipulative and cunning. She somehow figured out (after her choking spell) that every time she would feign choking, it would quickly get our attention. So now when we are feeding her brother or not giving her enough attention, all of a sudden she will start coughing and spitting and pretending she's choking. When we come rushing to her she laughs at us like "ha ha, made you look!"

I just had to share some of these stories from recently because my kids never cease to amaze me! We have some really smart little people running around our house and keeping us on our toes. Yes, its exhausting and a ton of work nurturing these sharp little ones, but we wouldn't have it any other way!

Colin loves the beach and his Aunt Crystal. See more pictures here: http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=kcpq5c3.4nz36bzv&x=0&h=1&y=7l9q1&localeid=en_US

Here was a recent photo of Colin in his dressup clothes. He's a happy baby - smiling and laughing a lot, although he is just now getting over his first severe cold. We were scared for a little while because of the coughing and wheezing. Thankfully he seems to be getting better. View more pictures at: http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=kcpq5c3.7rqlmt6f&x=0&y=-yghv7i

Here's our family on December 15th, 2007. We are a happy little group! Here's a link to more pics: http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=kcpq5c3.4tdgiuf3&x=0&y=-ha00dk